Zasha

Hmmm Something seem's off...but I can't put my finger on it....hmmmm

Like...the front leg looks too long...mabey? Or...I dunno...Posture maybe?

I love it otherwise! :-p Just can't figure out what has me going "Hmmmm"

^_^ That works

I like the picture Mercy, but there IS something a bit off about it. And I can't figure out what it is anymore than Trisskar can. It's driving me nuts.

The posture seems a bit forced maybe? Is she in motion?

Might :(

I sowwie!!

I agree with Triss, She looks off... maybe it's it's the angle, but She looks.. older.She looks in her 40's. Maybe if She was in a portrait profile. Also, She doesn't look very healthy. I dunno,... It just doesn't look like a youthful dancer girl, vibrant and full of life. You might want to change her clothes as well... Maybe a robe or something . In a nutshell, She looks old. :P

I'm sorry I Hate being so critical >_<

You don't have to redraw, Mercy, I'm 90% sure what people are whinging about is the angle the head meets the neck. Cover the head with your hand and the pose looks amazingly cool. Please keep the pose!

Boshuda

We're not whining, We're just stating our opinion. Mercy has done very great work and is talented beyond anything I can ever hope to attain. But to rubber stamp everything as great and fantastic is disingenuous and unfair to her. I respect her so much as an artist that I cannot lie to her about her work. My criticism stems from appreciation of all of her earlier work. As for this one, I have said all I wanted. And it's not just the neck and pose either. I take no joy in it, I hate saying it and feel really bad about it. If that offends anyone, especially Mercy, I am truly sorry.

Be free with it Mercy :) cloth's and all.

The reason the picture in her wiki link is there is because of her young appearance and red eyes. Since Zasha's eyes have red/crimson flecks in them. It was the young, innocent, red eye's appearance that really screamed 'Zasha!!' in that picture. Everything else was just....there... :-p

As for the 'chopping off the head and viewing the body' I think it works both ways. If you cover the head, the body is good. If you cover the body, the head looks good...but together and yea...she looks likes she's falling or something... :-p

Anyways as I say, She's still very much a new character so be free :) And thanks for being patient with us and our nasty critiquing!! :-p

~Triss

No problem Mercy ^_^ Thanks for understanding!

WOW! This is awesome/sauce!

http://jedi3909.deviantart.com/

This is cool! I like it and I kick myself for never thinking of a Native American type character before.

Kia kaha

hehe It was actually the Disney movie Pocahontas that made me think of using "Native American" as the skin colors description. My neice was watching it when they came up for a visit :-p

I really don't like dark skin tones for my characters...probably because I'm VERY white myself, :-p and my characters tend to reflect a part of me in some ways. But I figured Native American was a good...in-between color...if you know what I mean. :-p Not so dark skin toned and structured, but not so white either.

Oooooh! LOVING the mehndi-like designs on her! Holy crap that's a lot of detail!!

Such a very different feel to the character this time around-- the previous image gave me the feeling that Zasha was an impressionable and obedient student to her Lord, whereas this new one suggests she is a lot more confident and somewhat more 'wicked' of her own right!

haha!! Awesome! That's more like her ^_^ Very nice work! And Yea, Wow on the detail!! Kind of amusing on two elements of this picture. 1.) The Amulet, which she actually has...a gift from Lord Vorn which he stole off another one of My Jedi Characters (Blind Jedi - Might be my next request ;) ) 2.) And the Tattoo's - I've been thinking about having her go through one of them sith tattoo ceremony thingees.

I think the ONLY thing I might want changed (IF it doesn't require much effort to do so) are the high heels. (Mostly coz I myself hate High Heels...but that's coz I'm flat footed :-p ) but that's more optional and based on how easy or difficult it would be to change.

Great work! I'm glad you were more free with this one ^_^

@ Tusserk - Zasha is a very independent and un-afraid of most things...Though she has a love affair with her Master. :-p

Nice!! Love the colors ^_^ !!

I soooo understand on the heels part. I grew up on a farm so heels were NEVER in my wardrobe...and then prom came...and I had to ware them coz "They are elegant" and...my feet were dead in the first few hours of the night :-p

Oh!! And just a side note....her home world is on Dromund Kaas if that helps with background or anything....Actually...Her posture kind of reminds me of a scene for a side story im working on for her :-p

----------

On Dromund Kaas......

......a small figure watched as a young and beautiful female carefully picked her selections of groceries from a local market. Apprentice Zasha had made these shopping runs a habit over her past seven years of Apprenticeship. It was her only time away from training and a chance to get a breathe of fresh air. A chance to be....normal.

The figure that watched in the shadows wore a traditional Sith robe, with it's hood raised to cover it's features. As young Zasha walked by, the figure spoke. It was a female "So...You're the one..."

Zasha who was juggling one too many bag's for her own comforts attempted to balance her groceries as she turned to look for the one who spoke "Excuse me?" she questioned

The Sith removed her hood, revealing orange hair done in dreadlocks. She looked still in her early teens "You're a Sith apprentice aren't you ?"

Zasha grunted a bit as she shifted her groceries in a more, easy to carry hold "Who's asking?" she inquired curiously

"Eldon Ax," She grinned, "Apprentice to Darth Chratis."

Raising a brow Zasha studied the girl for a second before responding with a less then formal response, using only her name and not her rank and affiliation with her own Master. "Zasha....and I'm over due returning home." she mentioned as she moved shuffled her bags and turned her sites to the road

"Just letting you know," Eldon Ax sneered, "Some of us had to work all our lives to get to where we're at.... Unlike You."

Zasha sighed as she shifted her bags again "I don't know what your talking about.” she stated offhandedly. She was no stranger to the Ire most of the Academy students held against her. Zasha never really understood it, and her Master never made mention. “I'm an Apprentice same as you are...I really don't get what the deal is."

"You never went to the academy," Eldon Ax pointed out "That makes you weak."

Zasha crimson struck, Autumn eyes narrowed at the insult "Excuse me?"

"You heard me," Eldon Ax stated matter of factually as she walked closer "You're not a Sith, not really.” She then grinned viciously as her voice took on an accusing tone “You probably got the position by sleeping with your master.."

Zasha would of punched the girl out cold if only her hands weren't full with groceries. Instead she did the only thing she could do, leaning forward with an angry growl "Who are you to speak of my training like this?"

"Someone who has fourteen years of training under her belt," Eldon Ax smiled, pleased to see she had hit a soft spot "How many do you have? ....Seven ? " She scoffs, "Pitiful."

"Your a fool to underestimate me and my training, girl" Zasha snarled

"And you're a fool to think that you can take a shortcut to Sith master," She said her voice raising some and drawing the attention of some near by pedestrians "You mock the Empire and our very way of life!"

Zasha snarled, her hand squeezing her bags in irritation as she reluctantly turned away, still, she doubted her Master would appreciate her being late due to being drawn by playground taunts "Your wasting my time"

Eldon Ax's voice rose a bit more as she shouted at Zasha's back "Backs away from a fight too... You Coward!"

It was at this point that Zasha had, had enough. Her back stiff as she fought to contain and focus her anger. Carefully, she placed her bags on the pavement before spinning around to face her adversary. The crimson in her gaze were ablaze with battle "Then stop talking girl and get on with it" she snarled

Eldon Ax detached her own blade from her belt and ignited it licking her lips in anticipation of the fight she had started "Now that's more like it!"

The near by pedestrians gasped as the crimson blades snapped to life. Those in the surrounding area scrambling back to form a circle around the fighting females. As was usual whenever a fight accrued, shouts and cheers arose quickly as they egged the duel on

Zasha wasn't stupid however, she wouldn't attack first. The girl would have to follow through on her own chalange

She came at her in a storm of blows. Her feet moving lightly across the floor, her blade spinning like propeller.

Zasha responded in kind, her own moves a subtle yet deadly dance as she parried and attacked. lashing out at every opening. She wouldn't kill the girl, but she would teach her for underestimating her and her Masters Training

Their sabers locked, " Not Bad," She sneared,

"Shut up and fight" Zasha hissed as she pushed off and with a shift of her stance lashed out with a booted heel, in hopes to send her into a near by stall

Ax raised her hand to block, but was only partly sucessful. The kick hit her face knocking her head back.

Zasha didn't wait to see if her attack worked, merely pressed forward, ready to continue the fight

"Oh My," A voice came from the sidelines. "What Do we have here ?"

Zasha froze at the voice, but her guard did not go down as Zasha froze at the voice, but her guard did not go down as she seethed at the girl sprawled across the ground "This is none of your business Mi...M'lord" she corrected remembering the crowd and manners, her crimson struck gaze turning only slightly to glare at the inquisator before growing wide when she noticed her Master with him "Master!" She exclaimed, her saber vanishing as she blushed and bowed at the waist, cursing herself as her Master folded his arms and sighed

Hey ^_^ I critique you, you critique me! It's only fair and I welcome it as much as you do ^_^

I'll be honest. I have never been real good at my grammar and spelling. I believe I have very good reason's why but it is still no excuse :) My parents made many mistakes when I was young....my education being one of the top's (Gramer & Spelling isn't my only road blocks in the education field). I would like to hope that....over the years (8...9)....I have improved greatly. still a long way to go....but little by little I think the RP realms have been my greatest teacher :)

The second and shameless reason is that particular peace I was simply to lazy :-p (2am in the morning, crying it out with the kid, frazzled and sleepy.....) Yea... Anyways...It is the start of a very long rough draft story I'm working on for a much later posting in the works (you guys got a sneak peak ;) ) That particular part is a group effort between myself & mev dialogued out in chat and roughly cleaned up for flow of continued writing. ^_^ The final cleaning will come later when I have more of the story in place (Needs to stop being lazy and finish that >_< time line is moving fast! Mew!)

Anyways!! Thank you for the Critique! I will keep it in mind when I write and hopefully more improvement follows!! Looking forward to seeing the finish zasha peace!

P.S. I don't know very much about NZ honestly. My dad went there for his Missionary work a long time ago ^_^ has pictures and such, looks and sounds very cool! And yes, he even brought home a sheep skin ;) LoL.

Our farm was very little, Geese, Goats, Chicken's, Dogs, Cats.... a Horse for a very short time.... It's fun being a country girl ^_^ !!

Yowza! She's a hottie.

Ahahahaaaa! Some of the things that I, as an Australian, would feel obliged to inform folks about with regards to NZ don't make for polite, family-friendly conversation! XD But from my experiences of it, NZ is white, not green! Beautiful crisp sparkling white.

That said, NZ does some damned fine indian takeout food... and any country with a population of feral hedgehogs ranks pretty high on the hilarious-awesome scale!!

Also Zasha is looking fantastic! The intricate design work on her clothing just blows me away.

It looks awesome!

~LCT
Kia kaha

Ooooo!!! She's Sooo Pretty!!! I love her!

haha!! Nice thing about waking up at 5am in the morning....Get to see lovely picture!! Thank you mercy!! She looks great!

Yip ^_^ No problem!!

Wow... She's Awesome, Mercy! Great Job!